Antediluvian Technology

When the doctors told my great-grandpa (who was in his late 90’s at the time) that he had arthritis, he stood up and declared: “That’s impossible, arthritis is for old people!”

Apple and Facebook, like arthritis, are for old people.

Some interesting new data came out this week about who favors (buys) which phone OS. The data showed that Android is gaining favor among the young and vivacious, while Apple is keeping a higher percent of the older population.

See that? The brackets of 18-24 years of age show the largest difference. The brackets of 25-34, 35-44 and 45-54 show equal quantities. But (as far as smartphones go) the age brackets of 65+ Apple has more than Android or the Blackberry. While the differences may appear small for the moment, the amount of time it took Android phones to catch up (and surpass with younger people) is phenomenal. Apple has been making smartphones for 4 years, Android entered last year.

Oh yeah, Apple coughed up another iPad recently. And they’ve made some “genius” improvements: They had Steve Jobs sit on it, they drilled some holes to insert a few cheap cameras, and they changed the color of the exterior. Revolutionary stuff…

You’re right, I hate the new iPad almost as much as the old one. The iPad does not involve any new innovation. The “tablet” concept is not “new” or “revolutionary.” Companies were trying to make tablets in the 1990’s. The whole idea is actually pretty old. Apple didn’t display any “genius” when they made the iPhone either. People had been trying to do what Apple did for years. Apple was just the first (besides RIM) to really get there.

You know, my grandma is the only one in our family who does not own a cell phone but does own an iPad. And that is an excellent example of Apple’s changing demographic. The only problem is, the iPad does not even do what my grandma wants it too. She can’t open flash cards, or Widnows files that her friends send her (those files make up most of what is sent to my grandma) and that disappoints her. If Apple wants to stay in business, they’ll probably have to start listening to my grandma.

Mark Zuckerberg said it right when he “scandalously” declared that the iPad is “not mobile” (even if he said he was sorry afterwards.)

Although, Facebook is a problem in itself. They’re getting old too. So old in fact, that they now have what is now called a “death problem.” About one million Facebook users died just last year. The reason they have a “problem” is because after someone dies, people flock to their FB page to post pictures, videos and other memories. The “problem” has become so large, in fact, that there is now a whole site that is dedicated just to dead Facebook users called “1000 Memories.” The site is so popular that they are going to start to charge a fee to users.

And now that Mark Zuckerberg is being stalked (he recently blocked his stalker, by the way) Facebook is really heading down hill. If people don’t wake up to the fact that all this social networking compromises their privacy, they won’t know the meaning of the word.

Thus, in dedication to Mark Zuckerberg, I offer a parody of Pink Floyd’s song One Slip that I like to call One Click:

A restless finger across a weary mouse pad,
A social network account and I was on the road to ruin.
The updates came, the seemed to come without end
No hint of an identity to defend

I will, I will accept this friend request,
The conversation started and my information was put to the test.
Then drowned in the hype, my fingers on fire,
I gave the information to the vampire.
Without thought to consequence,
I gave away the evidence.

Once click, and here the stalkers come
They seem to waste no time at all
A momentary lapse of reason,
That binds account to account.
A friend request, you won’t forget,
There’ll be no Googling here tonight.

Was it friends, or was it the idea of being a friend?
Or was it the hand of Facebook, that seemed to fit just like a glove?
A tweet went by and soon my security was blown,
As the weeks went on and I was afraid to be alone.

Once click, and here the stalkers come
They seem to waste no time at all
A momentary lapse of reason,
That binds account to account.
A friend request, you will never forget,
There’ll be no Googling here tonight.”

Technology moves at a speed almost as voracious as the consumers. It appears that if nothing is done, the generation of Facebook and Apple is soon coming to a close. So who will replace them? Who will bring us innovation? Post your thoughts in the comments.

-Ben

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3 comments

  1. LifeBook
    MyFace
    TraceBook.gov
    iFace (merger iphone and facebook)
    ISee.ru
    FaceOff
    MoreSpace
    ThisSpace4rent
    fingerPrint.gov
    FaceBook.cn
    Face Genius

  2. I disagree.

    I am not quite sure why you are saying Apple is for oldies. But Facebook is not old. It is 7 years old and directed towards generation Y (1980-2000). Granted there are old people on there but 45+ is only 8% of the total user base. On the other hand those 13-25 comprises 55% of Facebook.

    Do please explain yourself.

    1. If you read the chart at the beginning of the post you can easily see that Android is taking up a larger amount of the younger population while Apple is taking up more of the older population. It would seem (since Android is so young) that this chart could easily become more polarized. Regardless, Android is gaining among the young, which leaves Apple for the older. That’s the point.

      With Facebook the demographic is less clear. The actual age (7 years) of Facebook is irrelevant, rather it is the age of those on Facebook that would make my point. It doesn’t matter if Facebook is “young” if the people who use it are “old.” You present some interesting numbers which I have a hard time believing (a source would be nice…)

      According to Facebook, they have “500 million active users” and that “50% of our active users log on to Facebook in any given day.” Which confuses me. What that really seems to tell me is that 50% of Facebook users are the ones who are actually active. It doesn’t matter if 55% of Facebook accounts are from a younger crowd, if none of them use their account. So we must focus on active users, how can that be done? One way is with games.

      According to Mashable (a technology news source) approximately 60 million people play their highly popular game “FarmVille.” Which means that 24% of active Facebook users play this game. And the average “FarmVille” player (also according to Mashable) is a 43 year old woman. It is because of correlations such as these, I have a hard time believing your numbers.

      Yet, regardless of that, you still have to accept one thing: Facebook has a “death problem.” I made the innocent assumption that most of those people died of old age. If that assumption is not true, Facebook has another problem. Facebook’s “death problem” means only a few things:

      1) A great many of Facebook users get hit by cars, or hit other people’s cars in fatal accidents (unlikely.)
      2) A great number of Facebook users have hazardous jobs (unlikely.)
      3) People spend so much time on Facebook that they perpetually suffer from fatal heart attacks (unlikely.)
      4) Stalkers have become a serious problem on Facebook (unlikely.)
      5) Mark Zuckerberg is an innocent (or even ignorant) looking person on the outside but a serial killer on the inside (highly unlikely.) Or,
      6) A lot of people on Facebook are old enough to give them this “death problem.”

      See how this works?
      -Ben

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