Erratic and Obstreporous

What’s been in the news lately? Well, lets take a look.

Obama is still trying to sell his bogus budget plan. Obama wants to punish wealth-creating people by making them pay more in social security. Obama tells us (again) he’s not going to let us drill for our own oil, while he continues to fund drilling in Brazil. Obama said S&P’s threat to lower the U.S. credit rating was based on political judgement (well, the cause is political judgement.) Obama remorse’s that the oval office does not have a “cool phone” or “fancy buttons and stuff.” Oba… How about some news not related to Obama?

A school in Seattle decided that referring to “Easter Eggs” might offend someone, so they should call them “Spring Spheres” instead (even though eggs aren’t spheres.) D.C. Mayor — Vince Grey — was arrested for blocking passage (with 200 others) during a protest, showing his excellent command of the English language he chanted, “Free D.C.” And, “We can’t take it no more.” It turns out that Donald Trump is not really a conservative. JFK was really killed because he might have found out the truth about UFOs. NATO decided they can’t stop the incessant bombing in Libya, which is probably because they are bombing the wrong side.

Of course, by now you’re telling me, “Come on Ben, what’s really going on in the world?” Well, there’s Easter… Nah… Oh, I know, Earth Day! (Which happens to be on the same day as Easter, coincidence?) Earth Day, the least celebrated American holiday. Well, it is celebrated by some people. One specific group had their Earth Day festival a little early, April 16 in Santa Cruz, California. Generally speaking the crowd was made up of, as Jason Mattera with Human Events said, “Woodstock retreads.” These are the kind of people who tell you their name is “Star” and say that they “like anarchy.”

And it just so happens that Brian Sussman interviewed this eccentric bunch. The question he asked them all was, “How can we save the planet?” A question which drew out some seriously demented answers.

Some of these Gaia worshipper’s suggest that if everyone became a vegetarian or a vegan they will be saving the planet “every time they sit down to eat.” “Star” tells us, “If there are fruit trees everywhere, then it helps liberate people from the money-slavery system so they can do less working for money and more unpaid charitable voluntarism that really inspires their heart.”

It turns out Star is seriously obsessed with fruit trees: “I’ve even lived in Santa Barbara, California, and climbed barefoot into certain kind of fruit trees—figs or persimmons—and eat the fruit straight from the tree when it’s fully ripe because then it has vital life-force energy.” The group of people also suggest that people have smaller families and suggest that people shouldn’t drive their cars, but instead should hitch-hike and take advantage of some other unaware polluter.

They are an idealistic bunch who aren’t afraid to share they’re dreams, as one hippy said, “The one thing that we really can do because the Earth is going to die eventually is to start ‘terraforming’ other planets, which is not immediately a possibility, but we need to work towards that goal.”

They really say it best for themselves:

These people can probably be described with part of Pink Floyd’s song Sorrow:

A man lies and dreams of green fields and rivers,
But awakes to a morning with no reason for waking

He’s haunted by the memory of a lost paradise
In his youth or a dream, he can’t be precise
He’s chained forever to a world that’s departed
It’s not enough, it’s not enough

Then what’s enough? It’s never enough. They cling to a world that doesn’t exist, one full of fruit trees and unicorns. There’s nothing sadder than an aging hippy clinging to a dream of the perfect world, paradise. They go about they’re days without rhyme or reason and spend too much time thinking that we can save the world. Lets be real: Covering the world in fruit trees, vegetables, federally forced recycling, anarchy and hitch-hiking won’t save the world. I’m not even sure these hippies agree on what we’re saving the world from. Pollution? Capitalism? Work? Government? Control? Beef? Last time I checked fruit trees needed CO2.

All societies have their lunatics, I think the U.S. has more than its fair share.




  1. LOL, people are so illogical. Hilarious post Ben. 🙂

  2. It’s just so creepy. 😛

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