Found: Hide-and-Go-Seek Champion

Well, everyone’s talking about Osama. It’s almost getting boring. Is there any news that has nothing to do with Osama getting killed? Hmm… Well, it’s not the sort of thing I usually talk about, but I guess a little change couldn’t hurt: Kate Middleton went shopping at a common market. And the number of pictures taken of her pushing her “trolley” came close to surpassing the national debt.

Looking at one of the pictures, I noticed how small and dinky English shopping carts are. Apparently England takes no pride in it’s shopping carts, so shallow with no lower layer. The carts look like the recycled and modified Dalek’s. Perhaps it’s an ideological problem: Americans don’t call they’re shopping carts “trolleys…” The degradation of the English shopping cart is perhaps a foreshadowing of what will soon happen to the English way of…

I can’t do this. This is boring and pointless. Back to Osama.

In case you’ve been living in a cave, Osama bin Laden was shot by our Navy SEALS in the rat hole he’s been cowering in for the last 6 years. After which, he was buried at sea in accordance with Islamic law. Why we followed the law of the religion we are fighting is beyond me (or beyond what I’m willing to write here.)

What should we all be doing right now? What do you do when, perhaps, the most infamous man in the world is killed? We all, of course, felt a sigh of relief. Other than that we ought to be beaming at our military forces when we see them pushing their own “trolleys” at the store. Rashard Mendenhall has accused us of “celebrating” the death of Osama. Are we really? No. Not really.

Instead of “celebrating” or beaming at our armed forces we’ve been questioning the legality of killing Osama, questioning if he’s actually dead, questioning whether or not what was done violated Pakistani sovereignty. We’re not jumping up and down, screaming for joy or asking to see the blood splatters in some demented part of our minds. We’re not celebrating anything. (Except for a few people, and rightly so.)

Do I find the whole situation questionable that he was buried at sea, they say his skull was blown apart, they won’t release the pictures, they can’t quite get the DNA testing to work and that the eyewitnesses don’t even know what happened? Sure. Especially since they can’t keep a straight story: For example, one minute they say he used his wife as a human shield, the next they say it wasn’t his wife and he didn’t use her as a human shield. Suspicious? Yes. But that’s all. It would be unreasonable to say that Osama is not dead. So I’ll assume with the rest of the commentators out there, until further notice.

The Huffing and Puffington post wondered if the killing was illegal. Illegal? Sure! A mastermind against the United States who’s responsible for the death of numbers of our citizens and armed forces should be protected by law! Uh, wait… Who’s law are talking about? Who’s side is the Huffington Post really on? I guess the same as Osama’s son who also says the killing was illegal. But you know, kids — or the Huffington Post — say weird things when their role models die.

Former Pakistani president Pervez Musharraf said the mission violated Pakistan’s sovereignty. Look: Osama was a serious threat to our nation, we’ve been looking for him for a while, we found him in Pakistan, we killed him in Pakistan, it’s that simple. If you want it done right, you have to do it yourself.

Bob Ellis recently reminded me what garbage looked like. Calling America shabby, secretive and stupid. Why would he say that? Well, lets take a look at some of his reasons… Uh, JFK’s brain was stolen… No, no that’s not it… Um, Osama’s wife might have said, “Please no…” Er, nah that’s just dumb… Uh, I don’t really see one. Hmm, Bob, looks like you’ve got some anger issues.

It took the moderate Brookings Institution to explain why killing Osama was justified. Reading the headline I thought, “finally some sanity!” I was wrong. The article gives one flimsy reason: Osama could have been wearing a bomb! I smacked my head, “Of course! Can’t let al-Qaeda have the last laugh!” (National Review gives us the real reason: He’s the bad guy!)

This possibility got me thinking though: Why hadn’t Osama already blown himself up? Isn’t that what good radicals do? The answer: He’s chicken. Why else do you think we found him in Pakistan instead of Afghanistan? Okay fine, maybe Allah makes some terrorists more breakable than others, maybe he wasn’t chicken, but my speculation caries about as much weight as the analysis from Brookings.

Although, the very fact that he was found in Pakistan has started people (like Bob Ellis) to ask, “then why are we still in Afghanistan?” I’ll tell you why: The Taliban, now that we’re gone, has started a new offensive in Afghanistan despite the UN grovelling at their feet just a few hours earlier. It’s only a matter of time before radicals build themselves an empire big enough to cause more destruction than what was caused on 9/11.

British commanders in Afghanistan have recognised this threat. Second-in-command of the International Security and Assistance Force General James Bucknall said, “now is not the time to blink.” Indeed.

Celebrate you people!
Who are not our equals.
Osama is dead!
We’ve settled for him instead.
Instead of what? You might ask,
Oh don’t worry, it’s not your task.

Have some pork tonight!
With our beacon of liberty shining so bright!
Eat drink and be merry,
Party in the streets and on the wherry’s
O you ignorant people.
Erect yourselves another steeple!
The monster is sleeping,
As time goes on and danger still creeping.
Just wait.

Radical Islam is relentless, it doesn’t stop with Osama. And neither should we.




  1. Personally, I am one of the doubters. Seems to me like things really, really don’t line up, and if Bin Laden is alive, he’s more powerful than ever… and if he’s dead, maybe he should still be alive, because maybe he knew something Obama didn’t want Americans to know? Time will tell.

  2. David Fawcett · · Reply

    I have seen so many reporters switch Osama with Obama. It is pretty funny.

  3. We are not fighting Islam. We are fighting Taliban and al-quaeda they’re terrorists not related to islam what so ever. They have killed more muslims than Christians. They have suicide bombed Pakistan tons of times. Killed Muslims,Christians and atheists alike. They have bombed mosques so many times killing about 70 people each time. These organisations hate humanity. Im a Pakistani but I travel a lot so I know quite a bit about other countries. The thing is America violated our sovereignty and no matter what you say it can’t be justified. Innocent civilians have been killed on a number of incidents by American drone attacks. We would have killed him ourselves these terrorists have killed more Pakistanis than Americans it’s a fact ! Also remember one thing Islam is not bad nor is Judaism or christianity or atheism. They’re all good. These terrorists can’t be called muslims they’re just terrorists and nothing else.

    1. You make several interesting points. I agree, a nation’s sovereignty is highly important. I see your arguments, but there are some questions that I can’t really find good answers to. Perhaps you can help me:

      1. Forbes Magazine’s E.D. Kain finds it highly unlikely that Pakistan did not know of Osama’s whereabouts. Because Osama was not living in some distant mountain of Pakistan, he was “hiding” in a vibrant, growing city 30 miles away from the Capital and dangerously close to the Pakistani Military Academy. With all the capabilities of the Pakistani Military, how could they not know? Thus, if Pakistan could have killed Osama themselves, why didn’t they?

      2. You claim that many Pakistani civilians are killed by American drone attacks. Do you know how many more of your people would have been killed if the terrorists were allowed to live?

      3. The US and Pakistan had agreed to work together to fight terrorism, thus it would only be a violation of Pakistani sovereignty if Pakistan didn’t actually want Osama to be killed and if they weren’t really working with America. Are we — America and Pakistan — working together to fight terrorism or not?

      Thank you for your input into this discussion.


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